One example was when a group of students approached me regarding the lack of a mock trial class at our school, uc essays examples. To outline a narrative, organize your BEABIES content into three sections:. Learning about foods enhancing my organ functions and immune system, I now eat yogurt regularly for the daily intake of probiotics to facilitate my digestion. I found purpose, existing to foster leadership within others and oversee the execution of an event. For a 10 year old, this was a horrifying idea. She also uc essays examples tennis and has danced since she was small.
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Heads-up: This is basically a crash course on the UC application. For the longer version, check out my actual course, linked below. These are the elements that UC readers are looking for when they evaluate your application. Performance in and number of courses beyond minimum A-G requirements. Eligibility in the Local Context ELC CA residents only. Outstanding performance in one or more academic subject areas. Academic accomplishment in light of life experiences. More detail on these here. The golden question.
Your goal with these prompts is to do three things:. Stand out in a good way from other students applying from uc essays examples school. Most importantly connect back to the points of comprehensive review. Your UC Activities List is a great place to start. Your UC Activities Listin my opinion, the best place to find your topics. You can do that by clicking here. For example Should you avoid these topics? Having said that, here are The Big Game PIQ, in which the author either wins the game! Or more likely loses the game, but learns An Important Life Lesson and proceeds to winatlife. The Mission Trip PIQ, in which the author takes a trip to a foreign country and ultimately learns one of three things: a how much they have to be grateful for, b how crazy it is that people living in extremely difficult circumstances can still be happy, uc essays examples c while they initially went there expecting to teach, what instead happened was just the opposite you get where I'm headed here.
Prompt: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. Tip: Writing for this topic is a strong way to start your application. There are so many ways to show leadership—maybe you took on huge responsibilities in your family, for example, or maybe you identified a need in your school or community and worked to do something about it. Prompt: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, uc essays examples, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. The UCs are interested in more than just your academics, and this can be a great chance to bring variety to your application.
Prompt: What uc essays examples you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? Because chances are your GPA and course rigor already show that. Otherwise, your PIQ may sound super general. Show how volleyball has taught you that. Prompt: Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced? Prompt: Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge.
How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? Tip: Some topics are stronger than others when it comes to this prompt. Racism, sexism, crime, violence, uc essays examples, physical disability, uc essays examples. How a difficult family situation led you to take on more responsibilities. More on this in the next lesson. One final tip: Make sure to address how the challenge impacted your academicssince the prompt asks about this. Prompt: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Tip: This is a great prompt to consider, uc essays examples. Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
Tip: This is another prompt to strongly consider. Can you think of any ways you have? Or several ways? Prompt: Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? What about your intellectual side? Ask yourself: Am I repeating myself? Maybe your GPA and course load already show that; if so, find something else to emphasize. Consider combining similar topics so you can free up space to write about something else using another prompt. A just-okay volunteer PIQ, for example, will add more to your application than a second Uc essays examples on your love of for example coding. Speaking of which Ask yourself: Am I showing variety? If computer science is your thing, make sure that not all four of your PIQs are on tech-related topics.
Treat your topics like a playlist, uc essays examples. Your UC reader will likely read these in order by uc essays examples, so start with a topic that makes a strong impression, then move forward accordingly. If one topic e. Ask yourself: Is each topic connected to at least one of my activities? If so, great! If not, it may be that your topic is too vague. And finally:. Is each topic somehow connecting back to at least one of the points of comprehensive review? Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.
Decide on a structure. Does your BEABIES content focus on a particular challenge you faced, what you did about it, uc essays examples, uc essays examples what you learned? Does your content focus on a few different experiences and problems that taught you different values and insights about leadership? To outline a narrative, organize your BEABIES content into three sections:. What I Did About It What I Did and Impact I Had columns. Think about and write down how different actions connect to and taught you about different values and insights regarding leadership. These can become your body paragraphs. So if, for example, you write a word intro, you have words left. Obviously, the fewer examples, the deeper you can go, uc essays examples.
The more you have, the wider you can go in other words, you can show more variety. UC Prompt 1 example essay: Ming Ji Restaurant. As I developed more in this role, I became a keystone piece for the waiters. I taught them how to properly attend groups of unsatisfied customers and the fundamentals of customer service. Consequently, I acquired organizational habits and dialogued more fluently to resolve problems. I developed better strategies to speed up home-delivery and in restaurant service, uc essays examples. It implanted a strong work ethic in uc essays examples that reminds me of the hardworking farmers of my past generations.
I believe that to achieve efficiency and productivity in the working environment between employees and the manager, uc essays examples, it requires not only the firmness and attention of a boss, but also the empathy and vision of a leader. Working through the many facets of a small business has taught me the key role of small groups in a system, and I applied this beyond the walls of the restaurant. As a result of my years laboring for my family restaurant, you might think that I would like to become an entrepreneur. But in actuality, I picture myself as an engineer, as I believe both require the adaptability, perseverance, dedication, and strategy to succeed in this field. In paragraph 1, the author defines leadership in an unconventional way. You can lead in your family, or through work.
This student was accepted to and ultimately attended UC Berkeley, by the way. In paragraph 3, he shares what he learned, uc essays examples. In paragraph 4, uc essays examples, he describes how he applied these lessons elsewhere. He even highlights a few in the final sentence: adaptability, perseverance, dedication, and strategy. He also connects these to his future career. Finally, the clear structure makes this PIQ super easy to read. In fact, notice how you can read the first sentence of each paragraph aloud, and it creates a short version of the whole story. Re-read those first sentences now to see what I mean. How to write an essay for UC Prompt For Prompt 2 I recommend the Uncommon Connections Exercise:. Imagine what someone else writing an essay on this same topic might write about—in particular, uc essays examples, what values might that person emphasize?
To give you some ideas of what values others might write about, uc essays examples, use the Values Exercise.
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What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? Prompt 8 of the new UC Personal Insight Questions is pretty open-ended and therefore it can be a bit difficult to come up with a topic. Below is a UC essay example for prompt 8 as a source of inspiration. For some pretty solid direction, take a look at my How to Write the UC Essays Guide for the UC essays. UC Personal Insight Essay Examples , UC Personal Insight Essay Guide. Hey there! Get college admissions counseling, college application coaching, and free essay tips from Ivy League graduates. When coaching elementary school kids at sports camps, I praise their effort first before delivering criticism. Paragraph 1: He has a hook —him yelling at his best friend, and then he provides brief context, just enough to inform us without derailing us.
Paragraph 2: You could say paragraph 2 is all about offering more context for how we reached this emotionally climactic moment that served as the hook. The paragraph also mentions an apology, which is a sign of change. Even better, paragraph three does two more things with its conclusion: First, it resolves the original conflict and we learn what happened with Serj. And second, it actually uses a personal story to discuss extracurricular activities, but without being heavy-handed. But your activity list can contain all the big wins and important titles under your belt. The essay is a chance for you to humanize those, and to demonstrate introspection. Arman does that by showing how he made a mistake and corrected for it. It demonstrates that he understands how he is answering the question—by discussing two intangibles of leadership, honesty and empathy.
Here, again, is Question 2, with notes from the UC Admissions website about how to think about it:. Things to consider: What does creativity mean to you? Do you have a creative skill that is important to you? What have you been able to do with that skill? If you used creativity to solve a problem, what was your solution? What are the steps you took to solve the problem? How does your creativity influence your decisions inside or outside the classroom? Does your creativity relate to your major or a future career? For twelve years, I have spent my weekends and summers making ceramics and painting at the community center, and when I need to relieve stress, I often sketch.
These might seem like private acts of self-expression. But they have impacted the way I solve problems, particularly in my sustainability work. With the help of a science teacher, I founded the Water Conservation Club and set out to engage my peers. Art proved invaluable in these projects. The first initiative we tried was a calendar initiative for elementary school students. I visited classrooms, talked about recycling, environmentalism, and clean energy, and then asked first, second, and third-graders to draw pictures of how they could live more sustainably. Their drawings showed them picking up trash, saving water, even going on a hiking trip with their families instead of flying across the country for vacations.
Their parents arranged a carpool, they use leftover water to water the class plants, and recycle paper and plastic. It followed an anthropomorphized water drop walking around town, seeing the different ways people waste water, which affected his reservoir home. The community members eventually realize their wrongdoings and work to conserve water through taking shorter showers, turning the sink water off, and doing full loads of laundry. In either case, I could have talked to classrooms using a chalkboard or a PowerPoint. But bringing my proclivity for art into the picture helped me reach young people who might otherwise have glazed over. She reached this structure organically, with her first draft, and it can serve as another model for how to answer these questions.
All she needs is to remind us that without her art habit, those would have been more boring projects. Maria could also talk about her prospective major or how she wants to leverage art in it, but when she reached this version of the essay, it read as complete and fulfilled in its own right. Here, again, is Question 3, with notes from the UC Admissions website about how to think about it:. Why is this talent or skill meaningful to you? Does the talent come naturally or have you worked hard to develop this skill or talent?
Does your talent or skill allow you opportunities in or outside the classroom? If so, what are they and how do they fit into your schedule? But one day in middle school I asked my father how it worked. That summer, my dad found out about a free program at a local university on Saturdays. It would teach you the basics about computers, including how to code. Ever since, I have been learning about coding as much as I could. My high school does not have a computer science class, but I petitioned my school to let me enroll in a few classes on technology and society, including intro to computer science, at a community college. I have also used resources like General Assembly to self-teach. I came to love working with computers and coding because each problem I had to solve goes toward building something.
I also studied design and graphics on my own and used the combination of these skills to create websites for friends, family, and local businesses. While it is not a formal extracurricular activity, it is my after-school job. She begins by telling us a bit about what she got to take for granted as a young person, then points out that she pushed against the grain of truly taking it for granted. Paragraphs 2 and 3: This section shows the growth and change we look for in the middle of an essay. all the ways she worked hard to get to this place.
Here, again, is Question 4, with notes from the UC Admissions website about how to think about it:. Things to consider: An educational opportunity can be anything that has added value to your educational experience and better prepared you for college. What personal characteristics or skills did you call on to overcome this challenge? How did overcoming this barrier help shape who are you today? The summer after ninth grade, I had the chance to attend a pre-college program in North Carolina. It was a special opportunity because I had never before been to the United States, and I knew I wanted to go to college in the U. I have grown up around the world, in India, the U. But this program had a few spots for international students, and I was selected to attend.
Students took a college-level course for three weeks. Over those weeks, I read thinkers and writers and watched films and listened to music by artists I had never heard of, from Philip K. Dick to Jean Baudrillard to Kraftwerk. As the product of a school system where math and science are prized above the humanities, I had to convince my parents that studying philosophy in books and movies was a good way to spend the summer, and I came back personally certain that it had been. I could now see big themes and meaning in popular culture and in the books I read. And before, I was unsure of how to integrate my interest in things other people thought of as abstract: religion, philosophy, history, books, and film.
My summer class showed me that ideas like religion and philosophy can serve as lenses to analyse the past and popular culture, or as the material that we use in writing books or making films. I would like to continue this journey of interdisciplinary study in college, possibly becoming a professor. The program I attended marked the beginning of my certainty about this path. Paragraph 1: This paragraph is all about the who-what-when-where-why. Paragraph 2: This paragraph demonstrates more specifics about the program. He gives just enough information—three names and one phrase used by the professor—to show that he was mentally present and, more importantly, intellectually moved by the course.
Paragraph 3: Now we get into the meat of why what Karan learned mattered to him—that change and growth. He gives several specific takeaways: he discovered the value of the humanities, and learned about what interdisciplinary study means. Again, his concreteness while discussing abstract topics works to his advantage. Paragraph 4: Karan concludes efficiently and tells us that the summer has shaped his professional ambitions. That clearly answers the question about how he took advantage of the opportunity. There are a few other small things Karan did that are worth noticing. He paid attention—consciously or subconsciously—to the language in the question, which differentiated between opportunities and barriers.
He chose to write about an opportunity, which implies privilege; his parents may have paid for this program. Here, again, is Question 5, with notes from the UC Admissions website about how to think about it:. Things to consider: A challenge could be personal, or something you have faced in your community or school. Why was the challenge significant to you? Did you have support from someone else or did you handle it alone? It was October my junior year, when my mom learned she had breast cancer. It was terrifying. I went to school exhausted, helped with errands, and tried to juggle classes and extracurriculars. My energy began to drop, as did my grades.
Unexpectedly, it was tennis that helped me overcome this academically and personally challenging period. Since I was six, my dream was to win a tennis tournament. But I struggled with the pressure of competition. I foreshadowed my loss prior to a match, allowing nerves take over. My body trembled; it was difficult to breathe. By the end of middle school, my losses outweighed my wins, and I no longer believed in myself. I explained my anxieties, hoping he could fix them. This is how you win. The advice was almost annoyingly simple.
And yet, his Zen-like philosophy emanated every time he watched from the sidelines. He was trying to get me to enjoy tennis as I had not been able to for years. I won more, though not a whole tournament. More importantly, I took the new perspective off the court, to AP English, my toughest class, when my mind would always wander to my mom. It took me tremendous effort to write essays and comprehend the material. I was so scattered that my teacher advised me to drop the class. I stayed in the class, focused on each step, gradually improving, ultimately earning a 4 on the AP exam. When school was out, I got my reward: I could come home and sit next to my mom, and just be with her for a while. Her key idea comes in an unexpected place, right in the middle of the essay.
But then she quickly and clearly articulates how that manifested to her—low energy, exhaustion. Paragraph 2: This paragraph has a clear thesis statement—tennis helped her—and then backs into a bit of context about tennis, which is necessary for us to understand the rest of the essay. It also articulates a goal—winning a tournament—which in this case ends up being a red herring. Paragraphs 3 and 4: In these paragraphs we see growth and change. Paragraph 5: This concluding paragraph very clearly though not heavy-handedly ties up all three challenges, telling us how the tennis philosophy served her through her school troubles. One of the toughest things about answering the Challenge Question is the risk of cliché.
Often when we are facing major challenges—illness, grief, loss, anxiety, etc—we are dealing with emotions beyond the scope of language. That means that the language we use to talk about it, with other people, with therapists, and in an essay, can sound like platitudes. Maria does a good job here of acknowledging that the words her coach gave her were not enough. Here, again, is Question 6, with notes from the UC Admissions website about how to think about it:. If that applies to you, what have you done to further that interest? Have you been able to pursue coursework at a higher level in this subject honors, AP, IB, college or university work?
Are you inspired to pursue this subject further at UC, and how might you do that? Nadia has a strong response to this question that we will use as an example:. The academic subject from which I draw the most inspiration is US Government and Politics. My interest in the subject encouraged me to enroll in the Advanced Placement course. One of the topics discussed that spoke to me most is the power of political participation. There, I spent four months answering phone calls, filing papers, and reading letters, and learned the importance of community relations, social skills, and organizational skills needed to thrive in politics.
My duties were similar to that of my internship, where I addressed complaints from students and moderated them directly to the administration. One example was when a group of students approached me regarding the lack of a mock trial class at our school. I gathered signatures, wrote a letter of request, and took the matter to the principal. My community participation led the school to offer a mock trial class to all middle and high school students. At the University of California, I intend to pursue a major in Political Science to further my understanding of politics and the impact of each individual on policymaking.
Furthermore, I am compelled to participate in student government upon my acceptance to UC schools in order to exercise my interests in a much larger and diverse community of students. Sometimes it is the right choice to use dramatic language to talk about a dramatic issue. She developed an interest in politics, and went about chasing that career. Paragraph 1: This is an example of an essay that opens with its thesis statement. She also tells us that her interest stemmed from the intersection of theory and real-life application, which means that we can expect her essay to discuss the real-life application of politics. Paragraphs 2 and 3: And indeed it does! Off the bat, Nadia tells us about working for Dababneh in paragraph 2, and in the ensuing paragraph, about her student council work.
Giving us two different experiences is great because it shows a pattern of interest in the subject. That tells the admissions committee not only that there was change and growth, that key quality the middle of the essay must convey, but also that Nadia is aware of that change and growth and can make narrative sense of it. Paragraph 4: Nadia concludes with a natural spin-it-forward take. At UC, she plans on continuing with these interests, and she knows exactly how. But this essay is spot-on in answering the question honestly and with good energy. Here, again, is Question 7, with notes from the UC Admissions website about how to think about it:. Things to consider: Think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place — like your high school, hometown or home. You can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community.
Was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community? Why were you inspired to act? What did you learn from your effort? How did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both? Did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community? For most of my childhood, I was overweight. It took two years to shed not only the weight but also the pain that had come with being a pariah. I did not want anyone else to suffer from the physical and mental pain that I endured as an overweight child. In order to spread awareness about childhood obesity, I co-founded the Healthy Kids club, which organizes fundraisers and invites guest speakers to educate students about early-onset heart disease and diabetes, as well as how these diseases follow into adulthood and worsen with age.
We worked to get healthier snacks in school, successfully banning certain junk foods like chips and soda, and regularly met with cafeteria staff to ensure health conscientious items remain on the menu. In my junior year, we registered the organization as a c 3 nonprofit. My own experience led me to found the group, and continues to inform our presentations. At each session with young people, I tell my own story. The ability to show students pictures of myself from five years ago, not being able to play sports or participate in PE due to asthma, and now the captain of a varsity team, means I can connect with students on a personal level. As I depart for college, I will ensure that the Healthy Kids Foundation remains a presence in my high school hallways, and I hope to create a chapter of it at the University of California, where I can draw on college students to serve as volunteers, spreading the message in even more communities.
Notice that in this essay, she did get pretty personal, which makes that hyper-efficient academics question more tenable. Talking about her own vulnerability also serves another purpose: it gives her humility in a question that might often invite a sense of savior-like arrogance. In other words, you should try to tap into a global issue and address how you dealt with it locally. Paragraphs 2 and 3: These paragraphs document and detail what Nadia did in the group. Her trademark efficiency is back here. Paragraph 4: Nadia concludes this by returning to her personal story, which bookends the essay nicely, and then she also does what she did in the academics question, spinning her interest forward.
Here, again, is Question 8, with notes from the UC Admissions website about how to think about it:. What have you not shared with us that will highlight a skill, talent, challenge or opportunity that you think will help us know you better? From your point of view, what do you feel makes you an excellent choice for UC? For example, I have heard many Armenians express serious disapproval about Armenians like my mother marrying odars, that is, foreigners. Unfortunately, this way of thinking insults my proud Mexican-American heritage, and leads me to wonder whether I am a disgrace or even a burden to my community.
This thought process extends to my relationships with others. I am often wondering if race plays into how people interact with me. But the bad has sometimes outweighed the good, causing my confidence to plummet. I hope to develop a more positive self-concept at the University of California through interactions with diverse students and by studying my two heritages in a way I cannot in high school. Through ethnic studies classes—many of which were pioneered at UC schools—and extracurricular groups, I think I can have more conversations about race that have not been possible in my life thus far. By learning from professors and other student leaders, I will be able to facilitate complex, yet necessary conversations about race for others, in turn, so that members of my college community feel integrated and appreciated for their differences.
In another one of his essays, the Academic Passion question Question 6 , he did discuss his interest in cultural studies and global identities. In this case, Arman has set up one concept—his outsider status—in paragraph 1, and he uses paragraph 2 to briefly caveat it, acknowledging what his reader might be thinking. Paragraph 3: Now, Arman spins things forward, and in a very rich manner. He also shows that he knows something about the UC system, referencing its diversity and academic history. There is, for the fourth response, one required question all transfer applicants must address. Here it is:. Please describe how you have prepared for your intended major, including your readiness to succeed in your upper-division courses once you enroll at the university.
Things to consider: How did your interest in your major develop? Do you have any experience related to your major outside the classroom — such as volunteer work, internships and employment, or participation in student organizations and activities? This may include working with faculty or doing research projects. I have spent my first two years at Foothill Community College in Los Altos, California, learning about the technology industry, which is in our backyard. It has been an education both in and out of the classroom. In the classroom, I have focused on computer science, while out of the classroom I have completed internships to learn more about Silicon Valley, where I hope to make my career. My computer science courses have prepared me technically for a career in the industry.
From my class in IT systems to my honors distinctions as a Cisco securities technician and as a VMWare certified professional, I have the skills to find work at a technology company as I did as an intern last summer at a software firm in San Jose. My hope is that by transferring to the University of California, I can add to these competencies a larger sense of the technology world, by learning about advancements across fields from virtual reality to artificial intelligence. I have also prepared to pursue a second major in business at the University of California. All this has trained me to understand the day-to-day workings of businesses. I look forward to learning more about international business trends at the University of California, and to attending public talks led by business leaders around the state.
Paragraph 2: She devotes this paragraph to talking about technology.
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